• I should be paying bills today but I can't be bothered. Who's daft idea was it to have New Years day on Jan 1?
    Should be moved to mid March. #
  • My New Years #resolution to become a nudist lasted till about 9.15am when I spilt my tea! #
  • Dear Diary,
    Lost tug of war contest with dog as she pulled a sausage off my plate. Managed to save other sausage from same fate. #
  • If I read another book where a #dog gets bumped off I shall spit! #authors please take note. #
  • Finished Dead Line by Stella Rimington.
    Gave it 1/5 because a #dog died. (see a previous tweet) #