• I want to eat something but it's not eating time yet. If I eat something now I'll turn into a hippopotatomus. What? #
  • I'm just a few pounds from becoming a billionaire.
    Just need about another £999,999,999.50p #
  • I step out with the dog and it pours down. Get back all soggy with a spikey dog and the sun comes out. Suffering sasserfrat. #
  • £25000 for a new Morgan sports car? No thanks. It's only got 3 wheels. #
  • Looks like you have to wear goggles when driving the new three wheeled Morgan car. I'd look like Biggles! #
  • #Morgan3 does 0-60 in just over 4 secs with a top speed of 125 mph. Nice. And, it's British! Sold 500 already and production not started yet #
  • I hate #movies shot at night. All I can see is his torch! #
  • Worst film I've ever watched. 'Altered'
    Set in Alabama judging by the strange southern accent. The alien was poor. Just a bloke in a wetsuit #