• Is milk supposed to have lumps in it and smell like a well worn pair of socks? #
  • Can't believe I want it to rain. But, I've put the fertiliser down and if it doesn't rain in the next 25 hrs I'll have to water it in myself #
  • With a hosepipe that is. #
  • A whole 30 minutes has gone by without any election material being stuffed through the letterbox. #
  • I wonder how much it cost Labour to send out all those DVD's? I thought they were skint? #
  • At least after Thursday it'll be safe to answer the doorbell without fear of it being an election canvasser. #
  • So Greece is bankrupt and the yobs are going round smashing traffic lights up with poles. One guy poured petrol thro letterbox That'll help #
  • Can't they stop that oil leak in the US? Just stick a pair of pants in the hole. That'll stop it. Especially a nice crusty pair. #
  • If I hear the word 'election' again I'll spit! #
  • Kid had his asbo for wearing his trousers at half mast removed cos it breaches his human rights. Least I think it was the asbo they removed #
  • Also a ban on women wearing trousers in Paris has been removed. Least I think it was the ban that was removed. #
  • Looks like the ash is back. Quick, everybody over to the west coast and start blowing. #
  • Nice cream doughnut. Don't forget Doggy if anybody asks, you had it. If you back me up I'll give you some extra biscuits later. Mmm biscuits #