• I've noticed a correlation between me going out in a car and the Council digging the road up. I think it's personal. #
  • I bet they're hiding behind a hedge waiting for me to go out then they'll leap out with half a dozen cones to block the road and dig it up. #
  • I could trick them by wearing a wig and a frock. Now, how does this lipstick gizmo work? #
  • Perhaps not. I don't want them to think I'm weird.
    I'll just take my coconut for a walk instead. #
  • I'm sure that fish was off and I can still taste it. #
  • Sounds like they're all drunk again in Parliament. What a disgrace to the nation. #
  • Switched on the pebble fountain for first time since 2009. Worked okay. Water needs changing and dead worms/slugs/insects/people removing. #
  • Emptied an overwintered tub of spuds. Quite a lot in there considering they were planted late. #
  • Trimmed up the strawberry plants. They should do even better this year with the earlier start. Just hope season stays fine. #
  • And that's all from this episode of "Norms Gardening Notes". #
  • Quite nice sitting out in the sun. Temp is a warm 14c (57f). Just the occasional whiff of manure from the farms. Or it might be me! #
  • Lights broken in the fridge. Guess I'll have to buy a new fridge now. More expense. #
  • Found a secret panel in the fridge where I can change the bulb. But will the shop have a bulb for a Victorian 19th century fridge? #
  • I'm amazed there was a bulb. I thought it would be candle or gaslamp that needed its wick trimming. #
  • Dog just zapped me with a static discharge. Get away from my computers you four legged battery. #
  • Fitted new bulb in fridge. It's so bright in there I may move in. #
  • Checked that fridge light goes off when door is shut. Wouldn't want to rack up a huge electricity bill. #
  • Loads to do today. There's uhm and uhm oh and not forgetting the thingy and the wotsits.
    Maybe I'll do it all tomorrow when I've got time. #
  • Second test Saturday. Better set the alarm for 3am sigh. #
  • What's with all this rain? I ordered sun, sand and sangria. #
  • Dog thinks I'm a wimp for not going out in the rain. Yeah but she has this thick fur coat covered in lard! #
  • Who's idea was it to put buttons on the front of underpants? Especially 2 tiny buttons when you urgently need access. Could cause accidents. #
  • I went to Mars once. Not many shops. #