• More snow fell overnight Just a light covering but to an ant it was about three meters. Unless it was a big ant then just a millimetre. #
  • I'll get up when everywhere has warmed up. Dog has hopped on bed and is in the middle trying to be inconspicuous. Now the Kraken wakes. #
  • I can't get motivated to do any work this morning. The Monday morning feeling times ten…cubed! #
  • What next? Villains are complaining about a shortage of guns and are having to share them out for blaggings. #
  • If flatulent cows are responsible for 4% of UK carbon emissions why not fit each cow with some sort of airbag to collect the methane. #
  • I wonder where worms go in cold weather? Maybe they freeze solid. Birds must think it's a Popsicle when they eat one. #
  • I should make a shaving nanobot to shave me at night while I sleep. No! No! Not the eyebrows you silly bot, and what you doing down there? #
  • Down to my last leek. Not much fresh veg in the shops. Cabbages are frozen and are like cannon balls. #
  • 37 last night in Australia (100f) but I think I preferred my 16 degrees (62f) at least I get to sleep and not dissolve in my own sweat. #
  • Who cares about it raining over Lands End. Nobody lives there. #
  • So who's this I-Yaz who's appeared at number one from nowhere? #
  • Cut the bottoms off yoghourt pots and place the pots over your ears and you'll have superhuman hearing. You'll look stupid though. #
  • I was chomping on a chocolate and bit my tongue really hard. It brought tears to my eyes. #
  • I swept all the snow away yesterday but it's back again today. This is getting personal. The government should ban it. #
  • Got a 4gb eye.fi card. Had to use ie tab addon in firefox to get the card configured. I feel like a nerd. I may put my hat on backwards. 🙂 #
  • Boo. The web share option for my eye-fi can only be bought in Canada/US. But I found a free utility to do the job so I saved $10. Hooray! #
  • Eating lots of nuts, raisins and dried fruit has an unfortunate side effect on me. Back in a minute or two. #
  • Naughty fox. Get back in your own environment else I'll set the dog on you. Although you'll probably both end up playing snowballs. #
  • They've just given up and are looking to draw the series instead of going for the win. Why have they left out Onions? #
  • There's more seagulls flying about than at the seaside. #
  • I wonder what roast seagull tastes like? There's a big fat one I've got my eye on. If he doesn't shut his beak he's stuffed and in the oven. #
  • 47% of people don't believe in statistics and the other 68% don't know how they work. #
  • Interesting ad. The felt and wire shop. I wonder what they sell? Oh… paper. #
  • I just heard. 'mostly' had a pretty big poo today. Maybe it was patterned or had nice colours. #
  • 1 down. Let's go! #
  • Pouring down with rain. The snow doesn't stand a chance and is vanishing before my very eyes as I type. Oh! There goes some more snow. #
  • You never see a film or tv series sponsored by a haemorrhoid preparation company. Maybe it's because no-one knows how to spell it. #
  • Anybody in Joburg know a good rain dance? #
  • Yay rain in SA. Let it rain let it rain. #
  • I bet SABC turned the sound off for the umpires review. Just my opinion but it wouldn't surprise me at all. #
  • Why don't they fix computers so they work instead of faffing about with updates. And stop trying to give me soddin' toolbars I don't want. #
  • Damn I feel so grumpy today. Even the mice have packed their bags and left! #
  • Things are so bad here I'm watching pets hour on a shopping channel. Oh… the dog just ordered something. #
  • This sherry seems quite innocuous although I've apparantly lost the use of my legs and tongue! Maybe the second bottle will be easier. #
  • That grounds not safe to play on. It's too wet. #
  • So I'm sponsored by a haemorrhoid company now? #
  • So Daryl never turned the volume up on his feed. Whatever next! #
  • They should take 90 off Smithys score cos he was out at 15. #
  • I'm gonna watch the snooker. Less controversial I think. I wonder if Rackspace will sponsor me or am I stuck with haemorrhoids? #
  • Just watched 'The day the earth stood still'. Not impressed. Just a load of gnats at the end. It was like Stargate v the replicators. #
  • That's it. Lead too great to catchup on second innings. Least we can't lose series unless umpires fiddle us again. #
  • Dunno what's gone wrong with Liverpool? #
  • I thought I saw an ugly looking fat alien today. But it was just my reflection in the window. #
  • On the sherry til dinners ready. I don't drink it of course. I just rub it on my face to give it that moisturised look. If anybody asks ahem #
  • Funny old world. Last week we had temps of -6C but today it's 7C. #
  • I think I have one of the few dogs that likes sprouts. I await developments with the usual trepidation and a can of air freshner. Hey ho! #
  • Why do conmen come to the door and say "I've got some good news for you…" They should start off with "I've come to con you…" #
  • Skys blue. Suns out. Birds chirping. Sheep frollicking. Me coughing and sneezing. Everythings back to normal. #
  • @BBCClick So the BBC showed last weeks Click again by mistake. I was 20 minutes in before I'd realised. Needs a new format methinks. 🙂 #
  • I think the water company have made the water thinner. Our dripping tap drips much faster now. #
  • Re Ofcoms proposal to force reduced Sky sports subs UK sports bodies say it will affect our sporting success. Which success is that then? #
  • When we collapse in cricket we do it in style. Sigh #
  • Nice drop of Port. It's from Portugal. #
  • I'll probably get gout now after drinking that port. #
  • Too many people in the house sucking up my oxygen. Sitting in my seat as well. I'm sending the dog in to recover our seat back. Woof woof. #
  • That didn't work. Somebody threw her a ball and off she trotted. #