• More snow fell overnight Just a light covering but to an ant it was about three meters. Unless it was a big ant then just a millimetre. #
  • I'll get up when everywhere has warmed up. Dog has hopped on bed and is in the middle trying to be inconspicuous. Now the Kraken wakes. #
  • I can't get motivated to do any work this morning. The Monday morning feeling times ten…cubed! #
  • What next? Villains are complaining about a shortage of guns and are having to share them out for blaggings. #
  • If flatulent cows are responsible for 4% of UK carbon emissions why not fit each cow with some sort of airbag to collect the methane. #
  • I wonder where worms go in cold weather? Maybe they freeze solid. Birds must think it's a Popsicle when they eat one. #
  • I should make a shaving nanobot to shave me at night while I sleep. No! No! Not the eyebrows you silly bot, and what you doing down there? #
  • Down to my last leek. Not much fresh veg in the shops. Cabbages are frozen and are like cannon balls. #