• Glad to hear that #Rufus was found safe and well. I reckon it was the pigeons that kidnapped him. #wimbledon #
  • Rick rolled by @BBCcovwarks #
  • Why is the Federer result so secret @BBC #wimbledon #
  • Thanks to @O2 support teams for sorting my phone texting problem out. #
  • Why does Azarenka shout whooooo everytime she hits the ball?
    Must be very offputting. I have to watch TV with the sound muted. #wimbledon #
  • Last June was the wettest for a hundred years. #drought #DryReservoirs #
  • The #MetPolice have a £230 million budget shortfall. What to do?
    Wait. #Barclays just got fined £290 million. Hmmm #solution #
  • As we leave wettest June in 100 yrs and enter a wet July, 4 water companies still operate #drought orders. They should fix their burst pipes #
  • Bit concerned about photographers in dugout at womens tennis. Trying to get shots of the players pants.I'd be locked up for that. #wimbledon #
  • Speaking of pants. Looks like Radwanska is wearing an old pair of mine. #wimbledon #
  • I've put my application in for Diamonds job at #Barclays
    Well you never know. #
  • My application for despot was turned down. Not enough experience apparently. #
  • "@BBCNews: No evidence that mermaids exist, US government scientific agency says http://t.co/d6WUSiAr"–What about green goblins? #
  • Think it will be Eng 2 Aus 1 Rain 2. It's forecast to rain all this week. @ECB_cricket
    #EngvAus #drought #
  • Never mind the mackeral @BBC get #iPlayer working!
    Or tell the company that runs it to fix it. #
  • Now that the #Higgs boson has been found will it really change our lives? Will it stop raining? Will the sun come out? Will I win the lotto? #
  • Hoodie in baggy trousers just leapt on his bike. Judging by his pained expression he sat on more than just the saddle. Ah he's standing now. #
  • Don't want to rain on the #Higgs boson party but aren't there even tinier particles making it up? Then tinier ones inside them and so on? #
  • The discovery of the #Higgs like particle could mean we find out why single socks disappear from the washing machine. #
  • Can't they wear wellies and macs? #EngvAus #
  • Looks like being a T 1/1 #EngvAus #
  • I'm starving. I'm so hungry I could eat a whole Yak en brochette. #rumbleguts #
  • This auto retracting usb cable that doesn't is getting on my wick. #
  • Its "whoooooooo" Azarenka. Mute the tv sound. #whoooooooo #wimbledon #
  • A months rain is due to fall in 24 hours. So, quite dry today then. #
  • I can hear the rain. #
  • I've just seen the sun! #notondrugs #
  • This is a test tweet full stop using this sound feature stock send burger #
  • Oh well, back to the keyboard. #
  • Don't do anything till the rain stops and I get my sat signal back. #EngvAus #
  • Some good voices there. Difficult to choose. #superstar #
  • Goody goody its raining again. Just what the garden needs. #drought #hosepipebans #
  • All that Atlantic Ocean and North Sea to rain on and it goes and rains on us. Be glad when its winter so we'll get some hot sunny weather. #
  • I love listening to music with a background of neighbours house alarm. #itsnotaburglar #
  • Dare hardly watch. #wimbledon #behindthesofa #
  • I wonder what's on the shopping channel?
    Oh if looks could kill. #wimbledon #
  • All off for a change of socks. #wimbledon #
  • Looks like we'll have to come back in another 75 years. #wimbledon #
  • So all the nobs get to sit in the posh seats under the roof for free and the peasants get to sit on a muddy hump for a price. #wimbledon #
  • So why were there biros taped to the microphones? Colour coding? #superstar #