• I hope they don't try and put a missile battery on my roof. They'll keep sliding off. #Olympics #
  • Looks like @BBCNews has decided to cover the French Elections. Good job #skynews are still giving us UK news. Switch over. #
  • “@zeninternet: Room is filling up nicely, bacon butties going down a treat :-)”–I bet they are. Nobody invited me. Sniff! #
  • “@zeninternet: A big thanks to some of our suppliers who have helped with our Data Centre build #datacentre €– not forgetting the customers. #
  • So we're hosting the #Olympics and having to put up water standpipes (once the floodwaters subside) to supply water during the #drought
    Wow #
  • Maybe fix the burst pipes and we wouldn't need water rationing. Water companies need to be controlled now and not put profits first #drought #
  • Do subscribers get the special edition @natgeomag about cats and dogs? #
  • @NatGeoMag Thanks (re cats and dogs edition) I can go and buy it now. Didn't want to end up with two copies 🙂 in reply to NatGeoMag #
  • Chinese #weetabix ? Whatever next? #
  • “@jjedmondson: this is why i dont bake cakes. http://t.co/HqDMuhjy”– I'd eat it in a flash. All of it. #
  • We have results of the election in one tweet so do we need all this wall to wall coverage on TV? Move on! Let's have stolen penguin stories. #
  • Sky News – Clever Boy! Lost Budgie Talks To Police http://t.co/AOuvEa2X
    -Hope no photographers tread on him #
  • Mondays story for @BBCShaneonair "Eat more yoghourt"? Might need some censorship before 9pm though. http://t.co/96YO6ukg #
  • finished The Rise and Fall of the Nephilim by Scott Alan Roberts
    sometimes a cigar is just a cigar http://t.co/ujNWfhXd #Kindle #
  • I'm off to the bog.
    –norm1037 (2010)

    I hate those #books that start each chapter with some weird and meaningless quote. #

  • Sorry Mr #Obama but I've had to unfollow you until you've calmed down a bit. (I don't think he really writes those tweets) #
  • I didn't go out and look at the #supermoon I just guessed it was there and didn't want everybody gawping at it. #
  • Last time I'm giving the dog mushy peas. I got the blame all night.
    Paaarrrppp! #