• Why did Radio 7 get renamed to Radio 4 Extra? We were never told. May as well call everything 'Radio'. #bbc1234564 #
  • Why does my Win PC sound like a water cistern filling up?
    Makes me want to wee continually.
    Shurrrrrruuuupppppp! #
  • Judging by the state of my laptop I must be a very messy eater. Bit of carrot on the screen. #
  • finished Passenger 13 (Ben Hope eBook originals) by Scott Mariani
    Good read. Lots of slaughter. http://t.co/rVSgGACO #Kindle #
  • They're dismantling a big old US nuclear bomb in Texas. Is it the red wire or the blue wire you cut? #bang #
  • Listening to the music soundtrack of 'The Adventures of Tintin'. It's not the same as watching. Ayeup here's Snowy…woof woof woofy #
  • An evening with The Moody Blues. Musically not carnally. #
  • I could have been a world famous classical violinist but never got past book two for the descant recorder. #
  • Waiting in for #BritishGas service. Nightmare. #
  • I need a 40 hr day so I can read my books, watch my films,do my work and get iOS5 to not take 5 hrs a day restoring my iPod over and over. #
  • China and Brazil helping out the Eurozone debt relief? Didn't know they were in Europe. Did they move overnight? Nobody told me. #
  • Sock markets have responded to the #Eurozone crisis? Oh 'stock' markets. #toomuchearwax #
  • My delivery will arrive between 0927 and 1027!
    Yeah as if. I won't hold my breath. #
  • Amazing. Delivery arrived slap in the middle of the announced time slot. Looks like I'll be eating my hat for lunch. #
  • For the 10000 people who asked, my delivery was a pair of AKG k240 headphones. Very comfortable and a great sound. From @AmazonUK #
  • Why is #AdolfHitler trending? Who is he? Has he died? #
  • Strawberry Cheesecake With Spoon. http://t.co/x8Ayzwb4 #
  • Bosses and exec officers got average pay rise of 49% compared to workers increase of just over 2%. #
  • I've just played the Trumpet Voluntary without using a trumpet. #
  • I wonder if you could ID people biometrically using audio of them breaking wind?
    Parrrp!!
    Hark! Here comes the vicar. #
  • Wish drinks wouldn't spill over the top, when you swirl them round, and go all over ones clean tee shirt. I say what utter rotten luck. #
  • Think I missed the [explicit] tag on that Kanye West track "Gold Digger".
    Good job granny wasn't listening. #
  • Can't help thinking that if you punish criminals on benefits by taking away benefits they'll commit more crime. Can't we transport them? #
  • Or put them in those empty tents at St Paul's. #
  • My CO detecter is giving me the pip. Now where was that new battery put. Sigh! #
  • Is the 'translate' function broken now in the Twitter app under iOS5? #