• I want 100% off a server for life. Seems fair. #
  • Hate it when that happens. Went round the dog walk with my zipper undone. Honest accident. Never felt any draughts either. #tellthecourtthat #
  • I hate changing quilt covers. It's like fighting an octopus with grease on. #
  • Forget Windows 8. I bought Windows 9 from a bloke down the pub. I'm no fool. #
  • Suppose I'd better crack on and hoik the dead daddy long legs' out of the uplighters. #
  • Taxviper blog post: Forget Windows 8. I bought Win… http://t.co/lBIzcIqs #
  • Taxviper blog post: Suppose I'd better crack on an… http://t.co/eoX38nEU #
  • If the earth is spinning how come when I jump up I land in the same place. I should land miles to the West. #alternatereality #
  • If as #cern say light may travel faster than speed of light then it explains why quantum particles are in two places at once. They're fast! #
  • Hover socks never really caught on did they? #
  • Taxviper blog post: If the earth is spinning how c… http://t.co/A42q9GDp #
  • 28C (83F) indoors now. Silly weather. Should have had this months ago.
    Be snowing next week. #
  • Taxviper blog post: 28C (83F) indoors now. Silly w… http://t.co/l4mWa7at #
  • Printers getting picky now. Refuses to print cos there's no paper! I mean really. #
  • Maybe the new #iPhone should be called #iPhone8 to get in with the numbers game. #iPhone4 is so last year. #
  • Taxviper blog post: Maybe the new #iPhone should b… http://t.co/YL3pl08h #
  • Plans for world domination were put on hold when I got locked in the bathroom this morning. Blofeld never had these problems. #needanewdoor #
  • Taxviper blog post: Plans for world domination wer… http://t.co/Da4wyHYH #
  • Coffee time. We've no decaff so I'm having ordinary coffee. I could be walking over the roof in an hours time. #
  • Dog fell off the bed in the night with an almighty thump. Little face looked back up over the foot of the bed accusingly. #