• I have to set the timeclock on the pebblepond fountain. It's a nightmare because the instructions are in non- standard English. #
  • Why do they say on @amazonuk 'straight mens jeans'? Do they sell 'gay mens jeans'? What's the difference? Why the differentiation? #
  • This for my 3k of writing @Twitter drivel. Yippee. Long live sore fingers and 140 character countdowns.
    Do I get a signed mug from someone? #
  • One thing wrong with my cup of tea. I forgot to boil the water. #
  • Look doggy 9 pm at night is not the right time to be running round the garden squeaking your squeaky toy. I'll have to face the neighbours. #