• Where's the @bbcnews? What's this crap that's on? #
  • Well I don't want no
    fat bloke in a red jump suit messing around in my chimney bringing down the soot. Humbug! #
  • I'll have an open fire lit tonight. That'll sort him out. And pick up those reindeer droppings this time. #
  • No politics/Westminster today so it's a skeleton staff and magazine news on @bbcnews It's not right after all that licence money we pay. 🙁 #
  • Time to gather in the sprouts for tomorrow. They take some rounding up,I may have to use the dog. They hide in the hedgerows sometimes. #
  • Meccano are moving their production back to France from China which is great news for European industry and Meccanoists. Or is it Meccanics? #
  • That was a close shave. My iPod almost made an unscheduled trip down the toilet. Amazing how shear panic hones our catching skills. Howzat? #
  • Well the sprouts are gathered in. Not a good harvest this year. Just four sprouts and a fat snail. Time to open a bag of frozen sprouts. #
  • Then again a sprout each and the snail for the dog may suffice. They're big sprouts. They might be cabbages actually. I'm not a gardener. #
  • Go away Argos. I'm not jumping into my car and rushing down to shop til 5pm. It's over between us. Over I say. Go away. I've no money left. #
  • I'm sure I was going to do something tomorrow. What was it now? #
  • Time to give @Napster the chop in the new year. Fed up with all these 30s tracks. Hardly streaming is it? And now full tracks not playing! #
  • Judging by the clear blue sky and sun it's going to be a very cold Christmas Eve. Wrap up warm if you're flying a sleigh tonight in Coventry #
  • Ayup the Tesco sale just started. Bit late now we've spent everything. Only got fourpence left. #
  • Right. Bit of time to fill in cos there's no presenter for @bbcnews so what to do? I know bung in a weather show with Carol. It's been cold. #
  • And if you missed the last 100 times it's been on you can see it on iPlayer. Now some hilarious outtakes which are fairly funny first time. #
  • Healey is making a right pigs ear of this interview trying score political points for @labour Get him off quick! #
  • I reckon the shops should have started their sales two weeks ago instead of Christmas Eve. They'd have made more money. #