• A drunk passes @thegizwiz sitting by his Merc engine. "Whats up Gizwiz hic ?"
    "Piston broke" says Gizwiz .
    "Me too." says drunk. #
  • Dog is running on the spot and sending the rug flying backwards. I'm keeping her amused as it's too wet to go outside. Playing pingpong next #
  • Ping pong ball lasted 5 seconds with the dog. And, she kept dropping her bat in her water bowl. #
  • I won't believe in aliens until one knocks on the door and asks for directions to Stoke-on-Trent. I'd still be doubtful if he spoke English. #
  • Shame about Paul the octopus dying. They only live two years. That's worse than hamsters. Just when you've trained them to dance they die. #