• Not sure lions are native to Britain anymore. Especially the Clacton area. Some poor long-haired golden retriever will end up getting shot. #
  • Search for #Essex #Lion called off after overweight hairy mouse found. #
  • Why do weather forecasters say its nice out when its absolutely peeing down outside? It's even too wet for fish! #
  • Keep thinking it's Wednesday today. What does that mean? #
  • Chicken soup is exploding in the microwave. Should it do that? Time to hide behind the sofa! #montypythonsexplodingsoup
    I see sex! #
  • Don't know how they play the violin. There's no frets to put your fingers on. #
  • Maybe if newsreaders at @BBCNews had their houses stolen, whilst in hospital or away on holiday, by squatters they'd have a different view. #
  • September has arrived fast. This time last year it was still July. #
  • A WW2 bomb was made safe in central Warks by detonation. Was it on the news? Didn't see/hear anything on @BBCNews or @BBCCovWarks BBC #
  • I am replete. #
  • "@BBCNews: Two raiders shot during burglary http://t.co/fMMVSY3S"4 raiders arrested for aggravated burglary.Homeowner & wife arrested, sigh! #