• Officially in a drought area now. Will I get a badge? Or maybe a Tee shirt? I feel strangely thirsty but there's only sand in the tap. #
  • The Africa channel?
    Wonder what that's about? #
  • The @BBCNews are giving this guy in #Norway just what he craves, publicity. Somebody tell me when they're (BBC) over this fetish they have. #
  • #Fracking to be resumed (not 'cracking' iPod!).
    Better glue down the chimney pots.
    Where's my earthquake detector gone? #
  • If the jets flying supersonic don't get you the #frackers will. #
  • I never knew you could recharge an iPod. I've been buying a new one each time the battery went flat. #
  • Just poured grape juice in my tea instead of milk. Same shape carton. #
  • With #100daystogo to Olympics I'm looking for a cave in the forest to rent for a couple of weeks. #
  • Sat on the po reading the Tesco catalogue. My legs have gone all numb. What's the evolutionary thinking behind that. #wouldnothelpcaveman #
  • Put another shilling in the meter. It's gone very dark. Go away rain clouds. Come back later about 2am. #
  • If I put two #graphene plates close together will I get enough negative energy to create a time bubble and #warp space? #shouldwork #
  • Looks like its going to precipitate down all day. 🙁
    Haven't got a jigsaw puzzle either. Should get a train set for days like this. #
  • Huge aquifers in Africa contain water that's 5000 years old and drinkable. Yet a bottle of water has to be used within 2 years. #itsascam #
  • Got caught out in a hail storm. Dog looked like she was covered in zits.
    Those hailstones hurt as well. My beak is still sore. #
  • Soon be midnight. #
  • Apparently rain is booked for midday. It's on my calendar so it must be true. #
  • As its Earth Day I'm going to have a huge plate of earth for lunch, slowly heated in the sun. (til it rains at 12 when it'll be earth soup) #
  • Wow. Twelve 'o' clock on the dot and the rain starts. Amazing. #
  • The on-board cameras on the F1 cars are amazing. How do the cameramen manage to stay clinging to the cars? #