• Trouble with ODI's and T20's, you only need to watch the last half hour. #PakvEng #
  • Pitch looks like crazy paving I'd do. #PakvEng #
  • Man in pants crawling across ice to save dog? Years ago we were doing it all the time. This health & safety stuff has softened people. #
  • I'll never finish this Kindle book. I read two pages and nod off.
    It's the history of GCHQ so that explains it. 600 pages to go. #
  • Just spotted some woeful looking mushrooms in fridge. Bet I get them for dinner with my lamb. #
  • Did they forget to install the seats at this ground or are those banks where you tie up your camel/horse? #PakvEng #
  • Football club doesn't know where the £24 million it was lent is. Well it's easy to misplace a big bag of money. I've done it many times. #
  • This is a live tweet from my toilet. #hazardouswaste #
  • Run out of paper. May have to use the back of the dog.
    Ah found a refill. #grippingstuff #
  • All finished. Washing hands.
    But what am I typing with?
    Yes. My nose. #
  • The Sunday Sun? That's a catchy name. #
  • Many people walking about holding a mobile phone to their ears that I think in time humans will evolve to have mobile phones instead of ears #
  • I missed the feelthy language on the effects mike. What was it? #PakvEng #
  • It's snowing outside. Who ordered that? #
  • If we don't get some decent weather soon I could turn ugly. #