• Getting up at 5.30am is no fun. I feel like I've done a whole day already and am ready to go to bed now. #
  • MPs don't care a jot about newspaper #hacking which has gone on for years, they're just getting their own back for the expenses scandal. #
  • I love shuffle on my NAS audio streamer. Renee and Renato. Blimey who loaded that on? Altogether now…Save your love for meeeeeeee #
  • Ayup no wonder the dogs eating my toe her food bowls empty! #
  • Why have I wasted £1.50 on a EuroLotto ticket? Do I really believe in my wildest dreams that I'd win £166 million? #
  • So they say drinking 2 litres of water per day is bad for you. But 22 pints of Guiness is okay right? #
  • Somebody from the #uk has won £161 million on the #Euromillions lottery.
    It wasn't me so no begging letters please. #
  • I hope this nettle tea doesn't turn my wee green. #
  • Next time you're abducted by #Aliens just sneeze on them. The germs should soon sort them out. If they're wearing masks you're snookered. #
  • Spent hour trawling backups for plugin serial no. and my setup instructions (which I found) for laptop only to find I'd already installed it #
  • The journalists at @BBC are on strike so @BBCNews will just have to rehash AP stuff. #
  • 'Carmageddon' in LA? Who makes these words up?
    Well they'll just have to walk to work or get a bike. #
  • What has #Brooks resigned from? There isn't a News of the World to resign from. Oh well no doubt another job will be offered. #hacking #
  • BBC Proms 2011 season starts today. 15th July – 10th September.
    http://t.co/bz6z23K #
  • St Swithin’s day, if thou dost rain, For forty days it will remain; St Swithin’s day, if you be fair, For forty days ’twill rain nae mair #
  • It's #Carmageddon !! #
  • Have to be careful with these updates. One false move and you've got a Yahoo toolbar. Oh bugger I twitched! #
  • Ayup why'd the screen go black? Oh yes a #windows reboot-after-update thingy. #
  • Must have been drunk when I chose this Vista theme. Looks like poo. #
  • The dog just appears out of thin air each time I open the fridge door. Amazing. #
  • Not a #golfer why do they hit the ball with their golfbats into long grass or sandpits? Wouldn't it be easier to aim for short grass by flag #
  • A double bogey? Is that one for each nostril? #notintogolf #