• That was a hot sticky night. Sweaty blubber everywhere. #
  • The time to worry is when you're working 25 hour days. #
  • #MetOffice issued a level 2 heatwave alert. Does that mean we're at war with another country? I can't keep count of who we're fighting. #
  • Sun cream smells of coconut. Now I look and smell like a coconut. Stop those monkeys climbing up me. They're after my nuts! #
  • They should put loads of big speed bumps down at #HamsHall or lots of broken glass like we have on our normal pavements. 🙂 @BBCCov_Newsroom #
  • This email promises a 4 inch extension to my member. Wow I'll be able to switch the TV off from my chair. Or play fetch with the dog! #
  • Or sit in the bath and scrub my back. The possibilities are unlimited.
    Go for a wee without climbing stairs. #
  • Having a gin and tonic without the gin. #
  • Oh Teen Wolf isn't a nature film about a young wolf then? #
  • Now that Blue Peter has finished what do I do with all these milk bottle tops?
    Got loads of toilet roll tubes and sticky backed plastic left #
  • At least this hot weather brings out all the scantily clad young ladies. One day I'm gonna fall off this wardrobe and break my binoculars. #
  • Downside to this hot weather. Brings out all the men with builders cracks, beer bellies, hairy legs and dirty feet in sandals! #
  • My Two Feet. Picture of my feet. Fully clothed. http://flic.kr/p/9XFZMu #
  • Have we won under DL? @ECB_cricket #EngvSLODI #
  • This match has turned into a T20. #EngvSLODI #
  • If they've reseeded that wicket there won't be much left after those pigeons have finished with it. #EngvSLODI #
  • RT @DreamHost What bizarre, inoffensive phrase should we …

    — 'what's the point of having a big nose if you can't stick a banana up it' #

  • Well of course #Greece approves key budget vote. They need some big bailouts fast. Meanwhile the kids riot and loot destroying Greece more. #
  • Thousands of kids roaming the streets today whilst their parents are at work and #TeachersOnStrike #
  • Wish I was allowed to go on #strike #
  • #Teachers should be lucky they have jobs. Lloyds Bank are axing 15,000 jobs. #
  • Torrential downpour. I hope the #teachers on #strike took their raincoats with them. They were told to do so in the letter to their parents. #
  • Trouble with tweeting about the #teachers #strike is that they mark you down for bad spelling and grammar. Like wot I rote then innit. #
  • Why does #Azarenka shout "whooooooooaaaaahhh" every time she hits the ball at #Wimbledon ? #Gettingonmytits #
  • Do you want to start backup? Yes/No
    No
    Do you want to start backup? Yes/No
    NO
    Backup starting. #
  • Watched last episode of #rubicon What a load of rubbish. No story at all. 13×45 minutes wasted!!! @BBC I hope you didn't spend money on it? #
  • Why is twitter broken? #
  • So are you working now? #
  • I think it'll be easier deleting twitterrific rather than faff about with it. I have to oauth, or something technical above my grade. #
  • I could have played at #Wimbledon this year but I didn't have any strings for my bat and the dog chewed my only tennis ball. #
  • Why does this Javascript book have 1100 pages? Who reads all that? #
  • Thats the bills paid. Don't know who most of them are.
    Anybody else need paying? #
  • #Marmalade without bits in it? Where do all the bits go? Maybe they sell marmalade 'with extra bits'?
    Or for the kids 'Xtra bits'. #
  • So this #Wimbledon thing has finished then now? #
  • The 'jumping through a barrel' game should be resurrected for the 2012 #olympics #
  • I think we're doomed again. Doomed I tell you. #EngvSLODI #
  • If we can get 280-320 we have a chance. #EngvSLODI #
  • That 1100 page JavaScript book is taking some reading. I'm up to about page 7 I think. #
  • For those watching #Wimbledon on black and white TV's Nadal is the one in white. #
  • I think #Wimbledon #bloodywimbledon is over. Somebody who isn't from GB won. Unusual that. #
  • If we could teach turkeys to be butlers it would be much cheaper. Employing a maid, a butler and a cook is just so expensive these days. #
  • I've had to let one of the gardeners go and just scrimp by with four. #