• Looking at the covers it's probably heading for a draw. #EngvSL #
  • Well I've watched 8 episodes of #TheRubicon and I still haven't a clue what the plot is. Is there even one? Another #makeitupasyougo series. #
  • There's another 5 eps left of #TheRubicon It'll be a struggle to watch. Hope it gets dropped like #StarGateUniverse was. #
  • With all this rain today I reckon the dog's developing webbed paws. #
  • SL could be all out for 80. Or maybe not. Got a wicket anyway. #EngvSL #
  • I was just two out on my prediction of 80 all out. Great stuff!
    "SL could be all out for 80. Or maybe not. Got a wicket anyway. #EngvSL quot; #
  • Quick tell @BBCNEWS that England won. @BBCBreaking #EngvSL #
  • Just watching the rerun of that innings from yesterday. Still incredible. #EngvSL #
  • Be an amazing twist if cucumbers are smuggled into countries where they're banned hidden in bags of heroin. #
  • Psst wanna buy a #cucumber #
  • In this day of #photo video manipulation you have to consider such evidence as 100% suspect in all cases. Especially in #UFO Alien sightings #
  • I wonder who'll win the #FIFA vote for president? Oh wait. There's only one contestant. #
  • Half the photos I took yesterday had my finger over the lens. Sigh. Retook them today on the dog walk. Dog was very happy. #
  • Well I never Blatter re-elected as president of #FIFA I never expected that. What a shocker. Oh wait. He was the only contender. #
  • I think @CheeseRations had his DNA results back and found out he's adopted and his real parents were two sticks of celery. #
  • I hope they get the person(s) responsible in #Malta for shooting #Star the collie 40 times & burying her. She survived & has a Facebook page #
  • Looks like #Chinese hackers have been attacking #Google again. Do they have nothing better to do in China. They should take up sport. #
  • The #Russians have banned all #EU vegetables. Oh well their loss is our gain with cheaper veg. I'm sure EU exporters will find new markets. #
  • #China have rejected #Google hacking claims. How surprising. #
  • Whistling curries from #Tesco What next? #
  • Another episode of #Rubicon Still none the wiser. #
  • Hope @BBCBreaking are going to report every action of #mladic He's stood up, he's sat down. He just blinked, he scratched his nose etc etc. #
  • #Breaking news. #mladic hasn't done anything for 2 minutes.
    No wait he's just … scratched his left ear!!OMG! #
  • #breaking news #mladic just coughed. Full report and video later. #
  • I wish #Cameron would say something controversial so we can have some different #breaking news. #
  • I fancy learning the bagpipes so I can walk the castle parapet at midnight in my kilt and sporran playing a haunting lament. #
  • New cream out for men that slows down hair growth by 70%. Means you only have to shave every 3 wks. It's organic and will be sold in Harrods #
  • I'm surprised there's anything left to hack at #Sony now. Just wonder why they need to collect so much personal data. Hope they're sued. #
  • I just heard about somebody slipping on a grape in #Asda and getting £10000 compensation.

    Blimey, bring out the grapes, I'm off to Asda. #

  • I've just leaned on the paper and have tonight's TV listing printed on my arm.
    Convenient.
    Oh wait it's back to front. Poo! #
  • Stupid free papers. Ink gets everywhere. #
  • Five o'clock and I can't sleep. Having cramp doesn't help. I'm hopping about the place like a one-legged ostrich. #
  • I'm in line for the throne!
    About 25 millionth in line. #
  • Why do people on their mobiles outside shout? Can hear every word a guy up the road is saying. I should tell him where the house number is. #
  • Not very impressed with #firefox 4
    Doesn't seem any faster. Slower if anything. The default theme is dreadful. Had to install a retro one. #
  • This is the new finial on our parasol to replace the one that was stolen. http://flic.kr/p/9Qrwp2 #
  • What's really needed is an app that tells you how many sheets of paper are left on a toilet roll. #
  • So it was German #beansprouts what did it?
    They do look like #cucumbers to be fair. #
  • There are #beansprouts by the poolside putting towels over deck chairs. #