• My arm is so painful in the mornings. Throbs like toothache.I take painkillers but they only kick in in the evening. Or is that the vodka? #
  • Wish Super Bowl was on earlier. Should ways be played on east coast so I can watch. I settled down to watch at 2330 and was asleep at 2335. #
  • Dogs just brought her dinner bowl in to me in the kitchen. Think she's trying to tell me something.
    Do you want breakfast? That'll be a yes. #
  • Thank you gale force winds. I just love chasing my plant pots and wheely bins around the garden. Dog thinks it's great as well. #
  • Somebody tell the weather man on @bbcnews that we have gale force winds in Coventry. It's not mild. #
  • Well the virtual sun is over ye olde yardddeee armmmee. #
  • These new petabyte drives are great. Fifty quid from Big Ron down the pub. Haven't tried them yet. They've got a nice brick effect cover. #
  • I wish the DJ would thwack his deck and stop the stutter. #
  • The @BBC needs to spend it's money teaching cameramen how to hold a camera steady on #theoneshow reports. Atrocious. Like being at sea. #
  • "Asbo's KO'd but cops may take kids iPods "
    Yeah and hell will freeze over first dear #UKHomeOffice #
  • A Triumph Bonneville for only £1.99!
    Oh it's only 3 inches long. I knew there'd be a catch. #
  • The new universal flu vaccine looks good as long as there are no side effects like it turning your skin purple with yellow spots. Mind you.. #
  • Ye gods that kid on TV has a big hooter!
    Oh it's Pinnochio. #