• If we're the only team fielding a football team at the #olympics we stand a chance of winning gold. But I bet we still get beaten. #
  • The smackheads in Seattle will see Phoenix Jones as a computer game and will probably start taking pot shots at him to reach the next level. #
  • Peggy Sue just made my speakers dance. #
  • My competition for an iPod.
    Give the full names of everybody on the planet Earth and for a tiebreaker, what they had for breakfast today. #
  • Terms and conditions apply. Only occupants of Mars may apply. Answers must be written on a postcard in Pategonian and rainbow coloured ink. #
  • Competition closing date is Monday 10th January 2011. #
  • Are people with heavily tinted car windows really that hideously ugly? #