• Come on get Mr Cricket out. #Ashes #
  • Bowled him!!!! #
  • The partnership breaker Colly strikes again. #Ashes #
  • OMG there's a seagull on the pitch with no head. Oh no it's just scratching it's bum with it's beak. #Ashes #
  • Thought we'd seen the last of the snow? #
  • Well you know you've really arrived when your Christmas cards get returned 'not known'. #
  • Oh this fetish with Facebook by @bbcnews just goes on and on. I wonder if they're paid to keep mentioning them? #
  • This programme 'the secret lives of the artists' is okay but when does Poirot turn up? #
  • Christmas decorations come down today else you turn into a green pixie. Don't you?
    Or was that a film I saw? "Hot Green Pixies Soap Up." #
  • Got to pick up the dog food from the other side of town. Pity the dog can't drive. #
  • It's not rain. The Ozzies are weeing from the top of the stands. #Ashes #
  • I'll be singing Wimoweh all night now. #Ashes #
  • Yippeeeeeee #Ashes #
  • Well done England. Commiserations Australia.
    We win the #Ashes series 3-1. #
  • Playing 2022 final in winter means you ain't gonna get many teams hopefully. The bid was for a summer final. Stop changing goalposts #FIFA #
  • Time to start a breakaway from #FIFA
    Call it #fifi #
  • This Lord of the Rings music is depressing on this gloomy day. I don't know whether to gas myself,hang myself or watch Eastenders re-runs. #
  • Only joking. Gas is too expensive to waste and I have no rope. #
  • It's days like this you hope for an Alien invasion. #
  • Just got a dirty look from the dog when I didn't come back bearing twiglets.
    She's off to the kitchen to reconnoiter for escaped twiglets. #
  • Don't fall for her Charlie. She's a cat. Chase her! #
  • Nice and sunny but a bit coldish today. Saw my first fly of 2011. Called him Phillip.
    Dog nearly ate Phillip the Fly!
    Oh he's flown away. #
  • That's Phillip the Fly who's flown away not the dog.
    He's back again! Probably went to find some poo to nibble on. #
  • Celebs are going to be prosecuted for tweeting about products they endorse. Well I always drive Rolls Royce and only drink Bollinger & Vimto #
  • Wow I just got a free bottle of Vimto from the chip shop. Not heard from Rolls Royce or Bollinger yet. #
  • Hope Liverpool can win against Man U now they have King Kenny back. Need a quick change in their fortunes. #
  • Looks an interesting documentary on Living It at 9pm. "Hairy Women" Why they have it and need to get rid of it. I may record it. Hmmmmmm #