• The "dial a dog wash" van could do with a wash. Ring "dial a dog wash van wash". #
  • Art experts have examined the Mona Lisa and found tiny letters, numbers and symbols. Clearly they had 'Painting by Numbers' sets even then. #
  • It's so cold I'm thinking of putting my office in the oven. #
  • Amazing how my lotto numbers are always one number behind. I'll fool them next week by adding one number to my lotto numbers. Advanced maths #
  • I've just eaten three chocolate hobnobs. I was desperate. #
  • Maybe @bbcbreaking should calm down a bit and get the facts right first. #
  • It's amazing how the Mayans knew we'd run out of IP addresses in 2012. #
  • Great start from England with 3 quick wickets. #Ashes #
  • Snowing has stopped. Just a hint of snow on the grass.
    I hope that's it. I want SUMMER AND I WANT IT NOW!! #
  • I tried to hypnotise myself in the mirror. Told myself I was feeling sleepy and fell forward banging my nose on the mirror. That woke me up. #
  • Started snowing again. Big flakes and they're starting to settle. Oh Noes!! #
  • You missed one @BBCbreaking with reports of Julian Assange not doing anything for five minutes. #
  • I'm sorry but you can't throw horse manure at the wall and call it art.
    Can you? #
  • In the papers the headline says one in six boys can't write their own name.
    Well I'm not sure I could at six months. #
  • The snows stopped and I can see blue sky. I hope the snows retired for the day. #
  • Cardiffs Winter Wonderland has been closed because of snow.
    There's too much of it apparently. #
  • Moving all my documents over to Microsoft Word 2010.
    I'm sure I've lost some. I seem to recall being paid for a lot more than I have now. #
  • Thought I'd redo the budget spreadsheet but I appear to have weekly outgoings of 15 trillion pounds.
    Think I'll try again when I'm sober. #
  • Goody goody the gas bills arrived.
    Just need the phone bill now and we'll have all our Christmas set of bills. #
  • It's too cold to snow I think. If it snows this morning I'll dance naked in the garden. #
  • Oh bugger! It's just started snowing. #
  • Water in bird bowl is frozen. Poor bird nearly broke his beak trying to get a drink. I'll put fresh out else they'll keep tapping the window #
  • Dogs fur is producing a few thousand volts of static electricity in this cold weather. Time to plug the kettle into her and make a coffee. #
  • Looks like all my Amazon stuff is still stuck in Glasgow.
    In a snowdrift! #
  • Whilst lifting the gay ban on the US military is good for human rights I wonder if it will work in practice? #
  • Brrrrr it's -10C (14F) now.

    I may have to sleep in my socks and woolly hat.
    Oh, apparently I won't be. They're clean socks as well. #

  • Cold in Coventry last night. -13C (8.6F). No wonder @bbcnews reporters go to warmer Scotland & Gatwick 🙂 @ItsAllAboutCov #
  • It never rains when you want it to does it?
    Well played England anyway. Still with you 100%. There's always the next game. #Ashes #
  • Meanwhile after a gazzillion and one Microsoft updates I get to use the PC.
    No wait … Some more updates have arrived with their suitcases #
  • Ah windows live essentials 2011.
    Make another cup of coffee! I shall be widdling all day. #
  • Go on Windows have a reboot. You know you want to. #
  • Please, no more reports from whinging airport passengers complaining about not being given three course meals or 5 star hotel accommodation. #