• I distinctly heard my laptop laugh. In fact in modern parlance it went lmao.
    Maybe it knows something I don't. #
  • Hello that #Dreamhost ad is back. It's following me. I want a picture of something furry up there.
    A tongue would do it. #
  • Can't believe I used Microsoft Word today.
    If I buy it do I have to claim to be a spotty teenager? #
  • You wouldn't want to be a species of frog in that group called "the edible frog".
    Your future would be bleak unless you were a fast hopper. #
  • Dogs lying on her back with her legs in the air showing all her bits off.
    The heatings on and I think she's too hot. So she's cooling off. #
  • I'm wearing my extremely voluminous underpants today.
    But they're not very warm. They're really draughty and flap very loudly when I walk. #
  • I can put both legs down one hole but it makes walking very difficult. #
  • Can @twitter fix the 'replies' button please? I'd prefer that to "newtwitter" which I haven't got anyway.
    What is newt witter? #
  • Buy the Status Quo new single/CD "In The Army Now (2010)".
    Net profits go to 'Help for Heroes' and 'British Forces Foundation'. #
  • Think I'll go back to bed. Give the day a second chance to start a bit better instead of this miserable weather. #
  • Some tweets must be reaching the edge of the solar system soon. What will aliens think? Will they give up watching the Lucy Show for them? #
  • Wonder if it's possible to put a huge umbrella over Coventry to keep the rain out? Pity those who lived on the perimeter though. #
  • Looks like the Ryder Cup has turned into a water sport. No play today. Anyone for water golf? #
  • My arms got a twitch. #
  • Commonwealth Games security described as "fool proof".
    Just hope no clever people try to breach it. #
  • Chelsea v Arsenal followed by Steelers v Ravens and then Eagles v Redskins.
    Good stuff. #
  • Can't believe it.
    Liverpool 1 Blackpool 2 #