• I'll need trauma counselling after that shopping trip. I was only there in my capacity as holder of the wallet. Which is looking thinner now #
  • Time to assemble an office chair. Ably assisted by the dog who doesn't like me touching the chair and not her. There's a million parts. #
  • Found the 92 page instruction book. Just need to quickly learn Chinese to read it. No wait here's the English 'instructions' on an A4 sheet. #
  • Summers over. Where's me woolly pants? #
  • Not such a warm start to the morning. Sun just coming out now but first thing at 6am it was a bit grim and cold. #
  • @CheeseRations Birthday? But you had one last year.
    Oh well "Haaaaaapppppy Birthday Dude"
    I was going to sing that song but ran out of spac #
  • Don't like these polyester trousers at all. The statics made them wrap round my legs like cling film. And half the dogs hair has stuck to me #
  • Damn car tax. Cost me half an iPad. #
  • Just killed a ball of fluff. Thought it was a creepy crawly. #
  • First Test starts today. Which means it's officially the start of summer. So it'll rain later. #
  • Bought two DAB radios. They're very nice with so many functions I may have to RTFM. #
  • DAB radios take a few seconds to tune in each time you switch on.
    I feel it's a backward step like waiting for a valve radio to warm up. #
  • Come on let's have a wicket. #
  • I think I've been spoiled by all this T20 of late. #
  • Tried making a choc Hob Nob by spreading Nutella on a plain Hob Nob.
    Didn't work. Hob Nob kept breaking up in bits. Choccy Hob Nob bits! #
  • People were queueing from midday Thursday to get an iPad on Friday. Stephen Fry got one but I can't believe he queued. #
  • In Japan they've queued days to get an iPad. In one place the queue was over a kilometer long.
    Then they whooped when the store opened. #
  • Wet stuff falling from sky. What can this mean? Oh yes it's a Bank Holiday and NO cricket at Lords. Bugger!! #
  • I can understand me making lumpy gravy but lumpy coffee?
    Now that's achievement. #
  • I just hope we get more of the Test today than we did yesterday. #
  • We came last at Eurovision. We used to do better when the voting was rigged. #
  • We sent our old PCs to Africa,now we're sending our old FM radios. We'll be sending them old fridges next. We should send something useful. #
  • Wonder if you could use dog poo as a fuel. If it's possible I hearby copyright it. Could make billions from this. Need to make a website. #
  • I was thinking of burningpoo #
  • Hello, an unexpurgated tweet got out just then. #
  • This Old Speckled Hen is nice. Til you stand up too fast. #