• Yippee it's the start of the asparagus season. Two for one offers in the supermarkets. English asparagus is the best. #
  • Oddly enough you can't get Brits to pick asparagus (low status thing) so we import E. Europeans to do it. Then complain when they stay here. #
  • Taxviper blog post: What does asparagus look like? http://bit.ly/9FwRpH #
  • How to drink cappuccino coffee? Tilt a cup to drink and all the froth and choc bits stick to the side of the cup. Is it okay to use a finger #
  • Raining in W.I. Hurry up and stop we need a win. #
  • Well not so much 'need' as 'want'. #
  • D/L is very unfair. 27 from 18 to win and Gayle and C'paul are in. Gayle just hit a six then was caught. Chance yet then. #
  • Can't believe BBC 1 don't know they have no sound. #BBC #
  • Will we be able to buy zettabyte hard disk drives soon? #
  • 32-3 I can't believe it. #
  • Looks like we've lost this. Pack your bags I'll start the car. #
  • Phew we're through as a result of the rain and an abandoned match. #
  • Poundland have been sold…for more than a pound. #
  • Nice to see we will be able to convert googlemail addresses to gmail ones soon. #
  • Is milk supposed to have lumps in it and smell like a well worn pair of socks? #
  • Can't believe I want it to rain. But, I've put the fertiliser down and if it doesn't rain in the next 25 hrs I'll have to water it in myself #
  • With a hosepipe that is. #
  • A whole 30 minutes has gone by without any election material being stuffed through the letterbox. #
  • I wonder how much it cost Labour to send out all those DVD's? I thought they were skint? #
  • At least after Thursday it'll be safe to answer the doorbell without fear of it being an election canvasser. #
  • So Greece is bankrupt and the yobs are going round smashing traffic lights up with poles. One guy poured petrol thro letterbox That'll help #
  • Can't they stop that oil leak in the US? Just stick a pair of pants in the hole. That'll stop it. Especially a nice crusty pair. #
  • If I hear the word 'election' again I'll spit! #
  • Kid had his asbo for wearing his trousers at half mast removed cos it breaches his human rights. Least I think it was the asbo they removed #
  • Also a ban on women wearing trousers in Paris has been removed. Least I think it was the ban that was removed. #
  • Looks like the ash is back. Quick, everybody over to the west coast and start blowing. #
  • Nice cream doughnut. Don't forget Doggy if anybody asks, you had it. If you back me up I'll give you some extra biscuits later. Mmm biscuits #
  • Never thought I'd be glad to see rain. It'll save me having to water the fertiliser in. #
  • Polling day today. It'll have to stop raining later then. #
  • It's not who wins the election that matters but which news channel has the fanciest graphics. #bbcnews #skynews #
  • Only joking. Election is important. I can only say 'follow the yellow brick road' #bbcnews #skynews #
  • If apple don't sell me an iPad soon they could lose me to Sony or HP. #
  • Nice letter from DVLA inviting me to give them some money in return for a round bit of coloured paper. #
  • All that padding and he hits his own ankle bone with his bat. Ouch! #
  • I think NZ are done for now. #
  • Go Go Go Sunderland for first result. So that's what sixth formers are for. 🙂 #
  • Governor of California rung in and congratulated Cameron as the new PM. We haven't had a first result in yet. He thinks the exit polls real. #
  • I wonder if I could fit a motor and wheels to the wheelie bin and have it work by remote control. It only needs to follow a buried cable. #
  • My new coffee maker had a blow back and I had mouthful of coffee grounds. #
  • 28th May then for iPads to be released to the civilised world. By which time we'll all be bankrupt and eating grass and grubs anyway. #
  • With everybody following the election via online data rich sources my ISP's pipes are getting congested. Time for NightNurse. #
  • Well I never got elected as Prime Minister. I only got one vote.
    Wait.
    That means nobody else voted for me. Not even the dog!
    🙂 #
  • No iPad for me then. Apple are charging an extra 80GBP ($120) on top just because it's rip-off Britain! Shame.
    Be cheaper to buy a laptop. #
  • Celebrating VE day today (Russia tomorrow) when Allied forces defeated the forces of oppression but at a terrible cost. #
  • No #BBCClick again! I want a refund. They should utilise BBC4 / BBCHD more and show it on those channels. We'd see your spots in HD. #BBC #
  • QVC selling a 3D tv. Can't think of anything that would stick out on TV in 3D.
    Wait.
    I can think of two things #
  • Will Apple sell Christmas Puddings this year and call them iPuds? #
  • Can't hear what Lauras on about. Get her a better mike. #bbcnews #
  • Wow that was a tight game. NZ beat Pakistan by one run. #
  • QVC keep tempting me with cameras and netbooks and fings! #
  • This games going well. 53-5 #
  • England turned over SA. Brilliant stuff! #
  • @CheeseRations haha Charlie 'king of the castle'.
    Great pic 🙂 #
  • I've heard the Lib Dems are joining with Labour and the Tories to make a big whopper of a party that will go on and on forever. #
  • I should be asleep now. Damn coffee. #
  • Well I've offered to take over as leader of the country but I've not heard back from HRM yet. #
  • I've been lying on my arm and it's gone numb. I'm trying to pick my nose but it feels like somebody else is doing it. #
  • The markets will go mad later today because we have no stable government. Lots of short selling. #
  • We can order iPads today. Just hope the pound doesn't fall too much.
    If anyone asks I've ordered a ream of printer paper. #