• Great game by Liverpool last night. They played like a team. #
  • Recently been fighting off hordes of bumblebees intent on nesting in the house. They're all pregnant female bumblebees. #
  • The arson reduction team will be patrolling "hotspots" in the area. Naturally. #
  • Wonder what the #bbcnews will be about? #
  • Nice email from the President of the bank of Nigeria offering me $10 mil. Must have been to night school to learn business skills. #
  • No wait somebody in Abidjan is offering me $3.5 mil. Hang on what's this? $20 mil from somebody at the HSBC. OH decisions decisions. #
  • Damn phishing email for paypal. It's in French how on earth am I to know what confidential details he wants sent to his link. #
  • Tried the French phishing email in Google translate. Something about poached cod in a light marinade with chips! #
  • I forgot to switch the washer on. Kept checking it and wondered why the washing wasn't going round and round as normal. #
  • 256gb flash drives at £650. My problem is how many should I order?100 or 1000. #
  • Hmm all the washing has turned blue! #
  • Except for the blue hand towel. That's still blue. #