• What's with all this rain? I ordered sun, sand and sangria. #
  • Dog thinks I'm a wimp for not going out in the rain. Yeah but she has this thick fur coat covered in lard! #
  • Who's idea was it to put buttons on the front of underpants? Especially 2 tiny buttons when you urgently need access. Could cause accidents. #
  • I went to Mars once. Not many shops. #