• I've noticed a correlation between me going out in a car and the Council digging the road up. I think it's personal. #
  • I bet they're hiding behind a hedge waiting for me to go out then they'll leap out with half a dozen cones to block the road and dig it up. #
  • I could trick them by wearing a wig and a frock. Now, how does this lipstick gizmo work? #
  • Perhaps not. I don't want them to think I'm weird.
    I'll just take my coconut for a walk instead. #