• Looks likely that the BBC will not renew contract with Met Office in April. About time. Load of rubbishy weather forecasts recently. #
  • Got a dripping tap and my toolbox has been hidden. Nice show of trust in my DIY skills I must say. #
  • What month in 2012 does the world end? Maybe I should switch to monthly payments to save some money. Hope I can get my birthday in okay. #
  • I think I've peaked too early today. I could sharpen my pencils I suppose. No I did that yesterday. I'd play ping pong but the dog cheats. #
  • Depressed now. Popped into pub for game of darts and lost. I was playing myself. 🙁 #
  • Looks like I'm not in the running for a Brit Award tonight. Oh well maybe the worlds not ready for nose flute music just yet. #
  • I'm so unlucky that if I walked through the Sahara desert a coconut would fall on my head. #
  • There's a microscopic particle of biscuit, undetectable by human science, on the floor and the dog is determined she'll find it. #
  • I have to be ready to go out at 8 in 30 mins time. But being a man I needn't start to get ready til five to eight. #