• I've just given my pet pigeon a piece of baguette and he's on his way to CERN. #
  • Breakfast in bed is good but oh those crumbs get everywhere. #
  • Dweeb in a multi-coloured woolly hat just put a leaflet through our letterbox offering to buy our gold and silver at a silly low low price. #
  • Chocolate is a bit hard straight from the fridge but I don't have the patience to wait for it to soften. #
  • Bad weather today. I blame the Large Hadron Collider. #
  • Email problems. I blame the Large Hadron Collider. It should have a shorter name like, "Bob". #
  • I never thought all those years ago that I'd be sitting here on the toilet twittering about the LHC. Ah well it's progress I suppose. #
  • Why are Jedward smoking pipes? Oh they're microphones. #